GUIDE

“Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don’t be sorry.”

— Jack Kerouac

I am on a journey of self fulfilment and change for the Lord, myself, and my children. I am on a journey of change for the better so that I can grow to be the best woman for me, mother for my kids and even wife to my husband plus I want to be best the business woman I can be.

On this journey I want to be a mentor to my children and to  any and every little, teen and young adult female that crosses my path. I can’t do that if I am not I am not he best  me possible.  I can’t do that if I stay behind this mask. I have learned over the years of being a parent that children are always watching and they are more perceptive than we ever give them credit for and most important they are always learning from us!

I bless everyone that I can. Just as Peter healed the lamed beggar  (see Acts 3:1-26) “Peter told the beggar he did not have any silver and gold, but something better he had the Holy Spirit.” I may not have money to give, but I do have conversation and time which are very precious indeed to person who is always multitasking and on the go.

An example would be when I am shopping at the local the WalMart there is a Heavenly Angel on here on Earth named Brenda who is greeter that works the door. She is truly anointed and I could be annoyed, pissed, throwed off in some kind of way and when Brenda is that door and I enter into her presence my mood instantly changes and I can feel the Spirit of God move around me. I can’t really explain it except for how I just did.

I am not sorry for the battle of depression that I am fighting. I am not sorry for the trials and tribulations that I am going through, because they are making me smarter and stronger. I am not sorry for the way I raised or by whom, because being raised in generational home in a small town (Tyler, TX) was the greatest thing in (beside having my kids) my life!  Having my grandfather and Uncle Sunny in the same house growing up was special and being able to have my momma in the same house for 7 years  in our home was a blessing to my kids and myself. Yes, he hated after a while ( read yesterday blog to find out why), but my kids and momma now have a special unbreakable bond because of it!

Now What?

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Just talked to my doctor and was told they are sending me to a nuerologist for the migraines and to stop taking my meds in the mean time.. Ok what do I do now cuz I have and I can’t take my medicine are you kidding me? Excedrine migraine no longer works on me and I know too much of those can cause liver failure.  As the song “Let It Go” from Disney’s Frozen says “The kingdom of isolation and it looks like I am the Queen”  There are not too many Disney songs that I love and can relate too but this song from the moment I heard spoke to me as did the video. The line “The cold doesn’t bother me anyway” I feel that and I have felt it sometime.. A heart of ice that is so thick that nothing can melt it. The only reason it still beats because I love my family too much to end it all and live in hell with the devil. I’ve tried that several times and each time I woke up and wonder why are you holding here? Now I know…I suffer and live in the isolation of my mind, but children are the sun and rainbows that guide me through the day. The sky may be black and grey, but they are my shining and glimmering light.. Its a small light, but a light none the less.