I Was Reminded Why

I hate people! I have on and off with Javier for years now and now that he is finally leaving his baby momma and moving to Texas he decided that he wanted to be with some girl he met on IMVU and they are moving in together. Can you believe this shit? I would send him IM’s on Facebook messenger and he would never replied. Today he tells me that he did not reply to my messages out of respect for her! #Seriously

We have been together for over 4-5 years now and I really love Javier. I can tell now that his feelings were fake and were just a joke to him all this time. I am so pissed and hurt right now I don’t know if I should cry or scream! I will not cry about this because the last time he ended our relationship. I was so depressed and emotionally wounded it felt like the air had gone out of the room and I was dying. They only bright light are my kids.

I know what you are thinking.. Yes technically I have spouse for the last 14 years, but he and I live more as room mates due to how he treats me. It is more verbal lashing out due to his PTSD and depression. Then there is my depression issues, body issues, and other things that have put our “marriage” in this category.

This is why I love the name JadedGrace, because I am jaded when it comes to people. People are just jack asses and liars! I prefer to be alone in my head, my office, and just life. I hate him and people!


Yesterday “baby daddy” comes in excited that he has a nice size pay check from his job being that he opened a separate account that only he has a card to I just said I am happy for you and left it at that. He comes back with “it seems like you dont want to talk” I told him plan and simply im happy YOU have a nice paycheck..I’m happy for YOU of course this is dripping with sarcasm and disgust.

Then his oldest son calls at 6 am saying he has car trouble and he goes to look at it and instead of texting me saying hey I am at my parents looking at T man’s car I got ZIP, ZERO NADA from him. I am thinking since he left at 6 am and its after 12 noon now he drove Tman to Marksville, but no he tells me I am my mom and dads cooling off cuz I am still trying to figure out what wrong with the car! Really and get freaking mad at me when I don’t text or call when I am gone for hours cuz your worried? No wonder I am losing my mind and puking up food growing more tired by the damm day! 

You moved us to this gawd awfully back water town to be near YOUR family and my family is 6 hours away. U complained that you don’t like big cities and yet you promised upon retiring we could live in Austin… yet you changed your mind and didnt bother discussing that with me!! Its no wonder I look at you with disgust and disdain these days…