Confirmed Failure

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Do you have any idea what it is like to be called a failure by the one person that is supposed to uphold and hold you down no matter what? ┬áIn my fractured state of mine to be told that “if that was your wat to get me you failed” So know that I know that I am failure at being a spouse I guess the only thing I am good at being a mom, a student and certified loony and I should be medicated and put somewhere where I can focus soley on my failures in this life.. Trust me I have many…and the list is too long to list in this blog,.. I am so close to tears right now that all that I can think of just how he can take my heart and rip it in 2 just like in the picture… I should say that my heart is fractured just like my mental abilities. If I am bipolar to top that with depression that now is just getting deeper and darker by the minute then top that with my migraines I swear as much as I hate blood (unless its on tv) I am very close to getting a knife from my dresser and cutting my arm and watching the blood drip to the floor before bandaging it up. I hear that cutting gives you some release from your pain I don’t know how true that is, but as the tears are burning my eyes the thought grows stronger and stronger…. I am just very tired of being sick and tired…the only thing holding me together is that my kids love me and think I am the coolest things walking… if they only knew the truth…