Last Moments

Last moments are hard to endure

I never wanted to be the one to in the room when my loved ones entered the upper chamber, but I was. I was in elementary school when my uncle died and I was in the hospital room holding his hand when. I was in Junior High/High School when Charlie B (otherwise known as my grandfather) past and I was in his room and I was there when my mother passed.

I don’t why I was chosen for this role, but I was and I remember every list moment as if it happened yesterday. My last moment with my mother will stay with me forever. I can’t escape it no matter how hard I try. I see it in my dreams, when I am lost in thought, daydreaming… I will say that my mother is still a huge part of my life and while she has been gone for about 3 years now I am still grieving and while some will say that is just too long and I need to let her go for those folks I only have this to say to you… Grieving is a process and it has no time limit.. And time does not heal all wounds and it does not make me feel any better that she is in a better place and if that makes a bad person then so be it because what buttercup I did not ask you did I?

Last moments for some are just that last moments for others like me last moments are a life time. While I can function and move on with day and do what needs to be done I still silently break down in small dark corner, pray. talk to my those that I miss especially my mother whom I am still very connected too.

It is crazy how I came about this blog post… If you have not downloaded the app Viki do so and then watch the drama Goodbye Mother… The airport scene is where it came to me…

*****SPOILER ALERT**** IT IS A VIETNAMESE BL DRAMA… YOU HAVE WARNED…

Time

As day turns into night and back into day time remains the same

Time remains the same no matter if you love someone or hate them

They say time waits for man, but have you watched how the time slows during the beginning of scene in a K-drama or romance movie slows down?

Then it will pick up momentum in middle once the couple finds it groove and the time seems to pick and choose when it wants to become a ocean and flow.

When the relationship its the skids it seems to take forever to get through the fights, the door slams and the replays as if I can not hit rewind on my phone if I want to see it again because I may have missed a cussed word or slap.

The difference is with time when the relationship is long term or leads to marriage then it seems to drag in the middle till the couple has kids (if they have kids). Again, this depends on they live with with parents or the whatever the case maybe then who knows what kind of drama will ensue….right?

Again, as day turns into night and back into day these are the thoughts that course through my head as I watch a BL Kdrama on Viki and Netflix.

What are your thoughts? Share them with me?