They tell you life is what you make it well, I am here to tell you that is not always the truth. Life is what happens to you and how you deal with it.
Growing up with just my mom and brother I really never felt like that I was missing from my life.. Like a father. Don’t get me wrong I had my grandfather and my Uncle Sunny, but they can not replace the man that help make you. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that the blackness of my soul and the hole in the center of my heart could never be filled by anyone but him.
I lived the cliche of “looking for love in all the wrong places”
and it was “fun”, but it never filled my life with long term joy. It was only momentary. I looked under every rock, cranny, hole and club for the one that fill that hole and no one could ever fill it.
Speed to the present where I have done my DNA, talk to private investigators, anyone who I thought could help and nothing. My mom died almost 2 years ago of breast cancer and my grams died a few years before that. So the only people that could help me…can’t.
I am mom of three beautiful, talented, smart and charismatic kids that give me love, joy, and they are the center of my world and their love fills up my heart, but I still miss and need him. Some say how can you miss someone you never knew? Easy I am little girl that longs to feel her father arms around her to tell her that she is going to be just fine.
I know at this stage in my life I will most likely never met my father and have those moments, but it was my only promise that I made to myself years ago that if I ever had kids they would always know their father and forge a bond with him. I would stay with him for them even if the marriage or whatever did not work. Thus far I have kept that promise.
This is my life….Your welcomed to it