Tell Me The Truth

Hello Bloggersphere,

I know that it has been sometime since I have written to you on here, but I have been ill and trying to become and beauty influencer on my other page. Anyway, since the last time I talked to you I was in the mist of trying to change my life. I am still trying to get myself together especially since I lost my mother back in October 2017. Mother’s Day just passed by and if it had been for family and Wendy I would have stayed in bed all day. This is my first year to “celebrate” Mother’s Day without my momma.

For the past few months I have become a gym rat and I love the peace I have while being the gym sweating and getting back in shape. I am praying and hoping that after I have lost the weight I can get a bbl which is a full body lift. I want the fat sucked out put that fat in my boobs. I have seen the work of the medical company Bella Dollz and it is amazing! Hopefully, by then I will through this torture of perimenopause because these hot flashes and night sweats are for the birds. I started taking Estroven about a week and half ago and I am not sure that it is working, but I chose to think that it is.

Now, ladies and gentlemen let me ask the question that this post is actually written for.  What constitutes cheating? Is it mental or only physical? Some say that once you let another in your mind and you are thinking of them or that person “romances your mind” that is cheating. While others say that once you sleep with someone other than your spouse or lover then that is cheating. Now, let me say this once you put your toe on that line sleep with another woman or man and your dating or married then yes that is cheating. Now if you and your significant other can move past it that is great. I used to say to myself that if my spouse ever cheated on me I would hope that I could be forgiving. I know that when he was active duty and deployed more than he was home while I was “worried” about his safety in Iraq and Afghanistan I also know that is when soldiers cheat on their wives. This is also when wives cheat on their husband while back here in the states and the man/woman is deployed. Some women come up pregnant during this time and once the soldier is home on leave this when most wives come up pregnant. So if they can play off the pregnancy and the husband does not suspect anything then I guess life is golden. I would not know about this as it takes me praying Hannah’s prayer and infertility treatments to get pregnant so my spouse has to be home.

Ladies what are your feeling on this issue of cheating? Is it more of mental thing for you or is it the physical that would get your feathers ruffled? If the death of a parent drove your spouse to arms of another could you forgive that? I have known my bestie  for over 20+ years that her hubby (now ex) cheated on her and her mother in law told her. Now she has a high sex drive and now that she is single she has a regular boyfriend she has others on the side. Now they know about the other, but is this cheating? I have another friend that ran into her ex from high school and they had one night together and they have remained in contact since that night and they often talk about together again. He tells her he is working hard to get a house of his own and has offered her to come move in with him. He often tells her she needs to move back to San Diego their hometown so they can be together. We all know that California is now really expensive to live in especially if you don’t have a job lined up already. He has even offered to love and care for her only daughter as his own. What do you think she should do? What do you think of women having side dudes? To be honest men have been having affairs forever and having side chicks as well. Men have been doing dirt since the conception of time and women are just now catching up and playing the game. Again, I am NOT saying 2 wrongs make a right, but whats good for the goose is good for the gander don’t you think?

I sometimes admire cougars and those that can juggle more than one man. Then I think to myself I have absolutely no sex drive and I am wondering why my spouse stays with me knowing that he has needs and wants them fulfilled. I think to myself if he did find someone else to have it and just wrap it up and don’t bring her near my kids or in my house. And to make sure she is clean inside and out! I don’t want him getting any diseases that can’t be cured or treated.

I can sometime see why there are couples that have “open” relationships. They seem so happy on tv, but who really knows what is going on behind closed doors? What does the word “open” really mean when you are talking about your marriage or relationship? I have seen shows where  men have several wives (ie Sister Wives) where the women agree to live with this one man, have his children, etc. Granted he is only legally married to one woman the rest are just “promised” in marriage. Then there are those that are swingers (I saw this on ID on Own) where you swap mates with others. The golden rule it appears to swingers is do not fall in love with anyone. There are all these underground clubs and dark websites for swingers to hook up. Is this cheating since both are consensual to this action?

I really want to know what you are thinking on this topic. I have been thinking about this for sometime and I just want to know. I hope that while this topic is deep and heavy that it took your mind of whatever is on your mind. Remember God made you unique so you should stand out of the crowd and shine like the star that you are! Please post, comment and share this if you don’t mind.

XOXO

 

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