I’m not a Playa I just crush a lot

Last night my hot headed ass spouse decided it was cool to call me FAT! Granted when we met I was overweight, but guess what I still had strong mack skills. I was never without a man – that man was sexy as shit!

I dated men that had money granted that money was not always attained legally, but that’s here nor there. I had a job and my own money, but they fly ass rides, could dress, dance and lay pipe (if you know what I mean) ladies :-).

I had decided that it was time to make a change and I prayed for my husband to be delivered to me. I prayed that he be a mix of my older brother, uncle and grandfather – you know men that I admire. These men fear God, love to have good time, know how to treat their mother, women in general, how to lead, hold a job, they liked to have a good time, family oriented and most of all loved me. So I took time out from dating, but don’t get it twisted I still hung out with my boys and partied with my girls we all had a damn good time ya heard! I just did not lay claim to any man as being “my man” during this time. I had plenty of offers and was tempted many times, but stood strong.

Low and behold I forgot that during my sophomore year at TSU (Hustle Town, TX) I signed up on Yahoo personals because I was bored in the computer lab. I was wasting time waiting on Turtle (my sweep mate) to get ready so we could go to the Que house party. There is nothing like a Que party to start your weekend off right when you are in college! Fast forward sometime and I move back to Austin and enroll and graduate from Huston-Tillotson University (Love my HBCU’s) and I get a message via email telling me I have message on Yahoo personals.. I can’t check it because I don’t remember the the dang ole password! What do I have to do? Reset the password and then I read it and I literally roll my eyes because he says he is in military yet his profile has no picture.

I am too nice a person not to respond so I say thanks for responding to the “ad” and explain that I forgot I had this and yada yada end and send.. Well, he keeps sending me messages telling me I am beautiful and this and that (how does he know this? I have a picture on my profile) and I just reply simple things. Anyway, this continues for awhile and then we exchange numbers and he calls. We talk so he is real person and not a perv LOL.. That’s a plus – Right? We go through some ups and downs and ins and outs.. but we make it to the day where we move in together in a nice one bedroom apartment in Killeen.

Life is gravy….you know the newlywed times always are the good times… then we get married and the good times are still rolling. Then deployments and field times happen… Then PTSD sets in….I still say he is bipolar… I have no idea what he saw over there, but he is holding on to it and brings that out at home on 3 kids and me. I do not allow it and stand up to him.

He often tells me I can leave and go home to Austin and frankly I am so want to, but would that be best for my kids? He often tells/asks me on the daily basis that I have a boyfriend or to go my boyfriend. But my momma did not raise no fool (#RIHmomma) when a man does this that’s because he has a side chic and wants to put it all off on you.

So when he had the gall to call me fat yesterday and then throw out there that  I had boyfriend. I just told him “I’m not a playa I just crush a lot” and trust me I still get cat calls everywhere I go what about you chunky?  Yea that shut his ass up real fast! Do not ever try me honey cuz I do #clapback a lot faster than you.

If you are wondering if I love this man that I have had 3 kids with.. the answer is yes I love him, but I am now wondering if I am in love.

He wrote the song “I’m not a player” which where the line “I’m not a player I just crush alot came from #RIHBigPun He died of a heart attack in 2/2007

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