This ending was the beginning of


Was my beginning or so I thought.  This process is one that is going to take some time for me because as I am slowly seeing it is more about me appreciating finding out how to to love me, falling in love with me so that I can appreciate him and fall in love with him. This way we can appreciate each other more than we did as newly weds or even when we were dating. I think our best days were when when he was deployed because I missed him and I knew how much he meant to me and my life. He knew how much I meant to him and what it meant love someone that he lose at any moment being in the desert with bombs going off around him.

I remember waiting by the phone and keeping my laptop on at all times so that I could talk to him on messenger. It was the highlight of my day to hear from him and pure hell when I when I didn’t. Now, I am here living in a bubble of migraine hell and my safety and sanity is my office or my truck. What kind of life or marriage is that?  #dontjudge Yes I love him and yes I am still in love in with him #30daystochange This is change me which in turn will change him and us. #Godwilling We shall rise like the Phoenix from the ashes to be better than ever!

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