Lady Justice is sometimes a STUPID BITCH

I am watching a show called Juvinile Lifers and there is this 12 yr old boy that accidently in my opinion hurt his 2 yr brother who later died. His mother waited more than 8 hours to take her son to the hospital and by her waiting that long is what killed her 2 year old son. If she had called 911 right away her son could still be alive. The mother is going to prison for what she did, but what was she thinking leaving a 12 yr old to watch a 2 yr old? Where was the CPS agents? This boy at age 12 set in a police department ALONE where yes he was told his rights,but even I can see he didn’t understand what this female cop was talking about. Knowing that the judge he is going to be in court with sends ALL black and latino juveniles to ADULT prison at the highest rates in Jacksonville, Florida where they live is just crazy and insane!

On top of all of this they placed this CHILD in and adult correctional facility in isolation where he sat for 23 hours a day in his cell. He is not even tall enough to see of the freaking window of his cell without standing on his bed! Where is the common sense in this? Where is the rehabilitation in this? If they send this CHILD to adult prison he will not make it he will be killed and that is just the plain truth. He will be attacked and raped daily. This boy again is 12 yrs old where he was held in this adult jail for 3 freaking weeks! When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer and fight this kind of injustice. Trust me I am not defending what the boy did – I am OFFENDED by the way he was treated by the police and legal system of this 12 yr old CHILD!!!! They say that Lady Justice is blind, but now I know she not only blind she is a crazy ass bitch that has no heart or feeling for the youth especially children that legally can’t talk, defend, understand what the hell is going on at that moment in their lives. In Jacksonville, FL this child is labeled as a super preditor now ask me if this child can even spell that let alone define it! Common sense should have told the detective that once the child said “what i just signed is between you and me right?” that he didnt understand anything that was going on. The fact he asked for his mother who is in the next room and was DENIED until AFTER they forced him to confess -HELLO he is 12 and wants his mother and he was DENIED!!! 

At least there are attorneys in Jacksonville that see just how corrupt this is and how adult prison is no place him or children like him! I guess since I chose not to go into law, but get my degree in education where I work in an inclusion classroom with special education children once I graduate from school. Eventually I will get a degree in Psychology so that I help special needs kids understand life and their parents truly understand their child from the inside out. I have love for kids and to see them mistreated by their families, the legal system or any way at all truly PISSES me off!!!

If you live in JACKSONVILLE, FL or the FLORIDA area and your a BLACK or BROWN child and commit a crime I hope and pray that you are backed by someone in the legal system that cares and do not end up on the middle finger of the courts and DA cuz they don’t are about you.. That is so sad and a shame to say, but its all that I see! 

Sighs…Somebody..Somewhere…Help me please

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I am not a cutter, drunk, drug user, abuser… I am none of that -what I am peacemaker in my family I feel everyones pain…yet noone feels mine…I help everyone yet I suffer alone…I watch shows that remind me things I try to forget but can’t really let go of…How do you let go of guilt of not living up to a promise you made your grandfather at 5… he reminded you of this promise on his death bed when your 14? How do let go of a man you have never met but told you look like and know that his blood runs through you – yet your fatherless daughter? How do let go of guilt of a dying uncle who drank to escape his life because he was hated by his baby sister (not my mom and aunt Baye – his sister Tricia) hated by his own father? This is the same uncle that died holding your hand in his hospital bed when the same said little sister told the doctor to shut off the breathing machines? How do you deal with the fact that your mother can’t stand your husband and your husband can’t stand mother and when she lived with you – your husband gave you the choice its her or me? How do you chose? I hate fighting and arguing so I generally shut down, cry in the shower, and walk away from it.. It doesnt get resolved it just gets swept under the rug on my end. I know why people who use drugs and drink they way the do – I can’t do it cuz its not in me to be drunk or druggie…There are a number of times i just sit in my office and think of how living my life this way and how I am just slowly dying inside and killing my marriage because I can’t talk to him and make him understand its not about you – its about me and my issues that I had b4 I even knew you.. the issues I got after I met you… the issues I have now…its all tied to my past and it is affecting me in the present and that is affecting you.. That is all that involves you is the here and now…Until I can heal my past me – i can’t heal my present me therefore there will never be a future me…I don’t heal me there wont be an us because you wont stay long enough for me to do it cuz you only want your needs met… your needs right now are not my needs right now…and its that I can’t get him to understand. Right now my stomach is killing me – its in knots so tight that it feels like its constantly going through this ringer being twisted over and over and over again without an end in sight. The nightmare continues.. how much more can I bare?