Confirmed Failure

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Do you have any idea what it is like to be called a failure by the one person that is supposed to uphold and hold you down no matter what?  In my fractured state of mine to be told that “if that was your wat to get me you failed” So know that I know that I am failure at being a spouse I guess the only thing I am good at being a mom, a student and certified loony and I should be medicated and put somewhere where I can focus soley on my failures in this life.. Trust me I have many…and the list is too long to list in this blog,.. I am so close to tears right now that all that I can think of just how he can take my heart and rip it in 2 just like in the picture… I should say that my heart is fractured just like my mental abilities. If I am bipolar to top that with depression that now is just getting deeper and darker by the minute then top that with my migraines I swear as much as I hate blood (unless its on tv) I am very close to getting a knife from my dresser and cutting my arm and watching the blood drip to the floor before bandaging it up. I hear that cutting gives you some release from your pain I don’t know how true that is, but as the tears are burning my eyes the thought grows stronger and stronger…. I am just very tired of being sick and tired…the only thing holding me together is that my kids love me and think I am the coolest things walking… if they only knew the truth…

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